"What she was finding also was how one book led to another, doors kept opening wherever she turned and the days weren't long enough for the reading she wanted to do" Alan Bennett

Monday, April 8, 2013

To Read or Not To Read - The April Edition



The days weren't long enough for the reading she wanted to do. Alan Bennett

Ask any bibliophile and they’ll quickly tell you that that is a stupid question. I would have said so too, but then things in my life changed, and well you do have to decide: do I read, or do I spend time with people? Do I read or do I take time to look at where I really am? Do I read and escape the reality in which I find myself, or do I enjoy where I am and escape when I leave?

6 Months ago I would have straight out said “Read! Why are you still asking?” Honestly, what is better than getting lost in a world that unfolds in your head at your pace; at your selection? At your control, instead of being sprung on you like things are in the real world? Is there a safer feeling than settling down in your favourite reading spot and escaping into the book of your choice?

But then, towards the end of February things changed a little bit for me. My time at home was restricted. It changed from indefinitely to 3 weeks. Sudden change like that brings about a certain change in perspective. I found myself having to ask, “Do I read, or do I spend time with people, enjoying the time I have left in Somerset East?”  This time reading got the short end of the stick. I can read any time  anywhere. I can be transported into the worlds contained within the pages in a book at any time I choose, but unfortunately they have not yet invented a way for teleportation to be possible, so I chose not to read. 


When settling down and finding my feet in Cape Town I will again be faced with the question, do I devote countless hours to reading or to living outside the pages of a book for longer than I am accustomed. So far reading has yet again gotten the short end of the stick as the time for reading has become less and less.

Reading is a refuge that both protects us from and prepares us for the harsh realities of the world. On the other side of the coin, reading is a solitary and selfish act that cuts us off from others whilst we are engrossed in the pages of the book we are reading. And yet, reading enables us to be more compassionate, empathetic and understanding of others and situations they may find themselves in, because we have friends in books who have encountered the same thing.

In his book -The Uncommon Reader – Alan Bennett examines this very situation. In An Uncommon Reader – the Queen goes to a mobile library, because well she is the Queen and to ignore it would go against One’s duty. The Queen actually reads the book that she borrows and finds that reading can be a pleasure, and not just something that one does because it has to be done. The Queen finds reading so enjoyable that she reads a great many books quite voraciously, and it becomes the only thing that she wants to do. Her duties become such a burden as it cuts into her reading time. Instead of being all present when driven to events, the Queen finds a way to read whilst being driven to events. This drives the King absolutely mad, not to mention all the advisers and members of staff that cannot understand why Her Royal Highness is so taken by such a frivolous activity such as reading. The more the queen reads, the more she wants to read. The more she becomes annoyed by the duties she has to perform. The more Her Majesty reads the more her view of the world changes, the more her interactions with others change. Her reading is certainly not taken well by many. The Queen finds it odd that there are not more people that are reading – she finds that diplomats and Heads of State are flabbergasted by her literary questions, and she does not understand why there are not more people that she interacts with that are as interested in reading as she is. Her Majesty is so transformed by all the reading she has done, and all the realisations that it has enabled her to have, that she makes a drastic change. Books certainly make many changes, and more often than not they are for the better.

I have been in Cape Town for 4 weeks now; and yet again reading has gotten the short end of the stick. Not because I have chosen to devote more time to getting to know Cape Town and to making friends, but because my day is structured so differently now that I am here. There is a very small window of time during the day for me to do some reading and so far weekends have been transitional. The whole 8-5 work day, 5 days a week is really draining. 45 hours of work, 15 hours of commute – it really does leave you feeling ragged. I sometimes read on the bus, but if I am standing, I would rather focus on not falling around in the bus than reading. It is really sad. I do hope that as time goes by I will become better at managing my time and will be able to read more.  It saddens me greatly, because reading is one of the best things in the world and one of my absolute favourite things.

Since arriving in the Western Cape I have only read 2 books, which is quite low for me – considering that this is the start of week 4 of being here. So read on for my two reviews for the April edition of Bibliophilia – two lovely books by South African Writers – one of whom I had the privilege of meeting last week.

When the Sea is Rising Red...

Title: When the Sea is Rising Red 

Author: Cat Hellisen

Publisher: Farrar Straus Giroux

Pages: 296

Source: bought

The Synopsis

In Pelimburg – city of storm and sea and spray – magic is power. Both are controlled by an elite class, who inhale scriven dust to enhance their natural talents.

As the only daughter of the city’s founding family, Felicita has a luxurious but narrow life, one that is ruled by a list of traditionally acceptable and appropriate behaviours. When her dearest friend, Ilven, throws herself over the cliffs and into the sea to escape an arranged marriage, Felicita chooses freedom over privilege. She fakes her own suicide and escapes to the slums, leaving behind everything she’s ever known, including the means to practice magic. Soon she’s living in a squat, working as a scullery girl, and falling hard for charismatic renegade Dash while also becoming fascinated by the strange, thrilling magic of vampire Jannik.

Then translucent corpses begin to wash up onshore. As it becomes clear that Ilven’s death has called out of the sea a dangerous, wild magic that the upper class with their scriven are powerless against, Felicita must decide where her true loyalties lie – with the family she’s abandoned, or with those who would harness this dark power to destroy Pelimburg’s caste system, and the whole city along with it. 


The Review

I absolutely loved When the Sea is Rising Red – a truly marvellous debut novel by Cat Hellisen. The world that Cat has created is remarkable, and so well described, that I could quite vividly see it all in my mind’s eye the whole time that I was reading it. The city of Pelimburg – despite the huge disparity between the High Lammers and Hobs – sounds like a very magical place. The different names used in this book are so wonderfully original – Jannik, Felicita, Ilven, Firrel – I love it when writers stray from the norm as far as names go – it certainly gave this book something more – it just made it belong to the world of Pelimburg so much more.

What really gave me a kick out of When the Sea is Rising Red is that despite the way the rich Houses look down on the poor there are things that are not frowned upon. Even though within Hob society there are those who are better than others there is one way in which inhabitants are not judged. Within the Houses males have a higher standing than females – despite this there is that one way where they sort of rise above it all by their acceptance. I really loved that it does not matter whether you’re a boy who loves a boy or a girl who loves a girl it is just accepted. No one raises an eyebrow. Even if you are a boy who loved a boy and now you love a girl or a girl who loved a boy and now you love a girl – it does not matter. I long for us to live in a world where love is not frowned upon if it strays from the supposed norm.

Cat has created a truly marvellous story, and whilst I am happy that it is a stand-alone, because everyone and their grandma’s are writing series – I do wish that despite the conclusion of this part of the story that there was another book to look forward – another stand-alone within in the world of Pelimburg that gives us a bit more of this wonderful world.

I absolutely adored the way that tea has been woven into this world – especially Red Bush tea which is a wonderful South African tea. Tea is one of the things that bind the castes together – whether rich or poor everyone drinks tea. I found it really cool that there were so many different teas that had different purposes.

I am reminded a bit of Amanda Hocking’s Trylle Trilogy by this book, and also a little of Dickens’ Oliver Twist. Dash and the Whelk Street crew remind me a bit of the people that Oliver finds refuge with. To a lesser degree obviously, because things are not at all for Felicita as they are for Oliver – but it just made me think of that.

I especially loved how this story ends – and I shall not say much more for fear of spoilers – it is so fitting and so lovely a conclusion. I truly shall miss my time in Pelimburg. I must doff my cap to Cat Hellisen for the way that she wove in some South African words spelt in an English manner. Very, very clever! Also, the different forms of magic that exist in this book are so exquisitely thought out that it is just brilliant!

If you are looking for a fantasy novel that is not just the usual, and is not transparent in its plot or unfurling, then When the Sea is Rising Red is just the book for you. 

I was lucky enough to meet Cat last week Thursday, she is so lovely! She has also informed me that there is more available so that we can extend our stay in the world of When the Sea is Rising Red. For a short story click here, and for some other extras click here.   


Dark Poppy's Demise...


Title: Dark Poppy's Demise

Author: S.A. Partridge

Publisher: Human & Rousseau

Pages: 183

Source: bought

The Synopsis


I walked to class humming a song Robert had suggested I check out on YouTube. He said the lyrics reminded him of me. I blushed thinking about it. Here was a real, honest-to-goodness stunner of a guy, and he was into me! It didn't really make sense, but then, who can argue with true love? It couldn't have been more perfect.
I should have known it was too good to be true. 


The Review


Before you start reading this, you should be warned that there will probably be spoilers in this review, as there is no way for me to do this book justice except for telling it the way I am going to tell it.
If I were in charge of the books that are set as part of the curriculum in schools I would definitely make Dark Poppy’s Demise on of the set books for high school. For English whether first or additional language I would make it compulsory reading for Grade 8’s as this book is so incredibly relevant, but it is also so great that everyone should, no,  everyone has to read this book.

Dark Poppy’s Demise is very relevant for the day and age in which we live – with broken families and parents who work so much that their children never see them. Even with the way we interact more and more with people online that we do not know. This book really does need to be read by everyone – especially with the increase in social media platforms that makes us more and more accessible by strangers than ever before.

Dark Poppy’s Demise is a story like so many others out there, yet it is also unique. Set in Cape Town, it is a story of the capacity of humans to inflict great harm on others for their own pleasure and amusement. Jenna is a social outcast with her own social circle – she feels very plain and like she’ll never ever find a boyfriend. But then she meets a boy online – Robert Rose who adores her photography, and says that she is beautiful – seducing her and finally meeting her in person, where he seems harmless enough – but you can’t help feeling that something is not right. You know, that niggling feeling that this may be a predator- yet you wonder if you’re just being silly. And you are being silly because despite your gut instinct you find yourself liking this predator. Humans: the only species that runs to, and not away from danger.

As the story unfurls and Jenna starts to wonder about Robert, and gets more sucked in by him – despite sensing some danger beneath the surface. He has toyed with her so much that she does not know if she is being silly or not in this strange feeling she has. Robert is getting to the end of his game with Jenna though, and the time for him to get what he wants draws near. Luckily Jenna, is a clever girl, and manages to escape – which is not the case for so many others.

Dark Poppy’s Demise is also a warning, and a reminder to us all. In this increasingly digital age where we are more and more isolated from real people and have more online relationships – we need to be vigilant. In this day and age where people seem to find more and more delight in being cruel to others we need to keep our guards up and trust that little voice that says – be careful.

Dark Poppy’s Demise is a great way to open up a dialogue with younger people about the dangers out there – lurking in the form of cyber predators, or even real predators. People need to be reminded that we need to warn others to be careful and be aware that there are people who are grooming their next victims. We need to be more open about the dangers out there, and we need to let people know that it is not ever the victim’s fault – that it was the predator’s plan all along. This is something very important, especially in South Africa with the current state of affairs regarding violence against women and children.
This is a book you  have to read, and you have to get other people to read it too, because the subject matter is very important, besides that it is a really great book. 


How do you manage to make time for reading when life gets crazy? Has reading had to take the short end of the stick in your life?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Silence is not so golden

As some of you may know, I relocated to Cape Town Middlemarch. Since then, life has been a blur of work and commute and well even though I have a fantastic April post written, it is on my personal laptop so I shall have to upload it tomorrow or so. Life is crazy - as Black Sabbath sang - I'm going off the rails on a crazy train.

It pains me greatly that my blog is so silent, but I shall try valiantly to get more posts out in the weeks to come as I get a better grasp on the new demands on my time. It also pains me because I have so much to share with you all.

This is unfortunately a very brief post, as I must dash to do work, but I would like to know how you all are doing and what you are reading and what has interested you lately?

Looking forward to regaling you all as soon as I can.

Bookish Greetings,
Terri

Friday, March 8, 2013

My Favourite Things - The March Edition

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with string. These are a few of my favourite things" Julie Andrews

I thought that since this month is my birthday month, I would talk about some of my favourite things, and maybe, just maybe it would result in extra bookish gifts... just maybe.

There are many things that I enjoy, so I have many favourite things. Be prepared for a rather lengthy post, as I gush about my favourite things.

I'll start with the obvious...

Books

I have a great many favourite books, those who know me won't be suprised when I cite Jeffrey Eugenides and J.D. Salinger as being among my favourite authors. A Perfect Day for Bananafish is my favourite short story, the first time I read it my jaw literally dropped, and well as story that can elicit that kind of response from me is gold in my books. The Virgin Suicides has enthralled me for more than a decade - the mystery of the Lisbon sisters is one I still cannot get over. Middlesex still lives rather vividly in my mind - this modern Odyssey so marvellously crafted.

As far as the Classics go, I count The Great Gatsby, The Colour Purple, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Romeo and Juliet, Rebecca and The Catcher in the Rye as among my favourites. My all time favourite though remains Gone with the Wind. I expect that my list of favourite classics shall expand as I proceed with my journey reading the Classics.

But, as you know, I am not only a reader of serious books, some of my favourite YA books are Fated and Echo by Alyson Noel, The Archived by Victoria Schwab, Ten things we did (but probably shouldn't have) Cinder by Marissa Meyer, The Mara Dyer Series,The Trylle Trilogy by Amanda Hocking... I could go on for a while. One of my all time favourites though: The Harry Potter books - it's like Roald Dahl's awesomeness updated.

I also love Cozy Mysteries, and I have to say that Lorna Barrett and her Booktown Mystery Series is my favourite - cozy mystery + books = epic win!! And don't get me started on my favourite autobiographies and memoirs! You just need to look back at my February That's Life post to see my favourites!

From the Screen

I adore many films and series such as Mrs Henderson Presents, Moulin Rouge, Seabiscuit, Domino, The Little Mermaid, The Harry Potter movies, The Virgin Suicides, The Sound of Music, Grease, Ferris Beular's Day Off... There are so many more but these are at the top for me. Oh and Snakes on a Plane - it's so funny!! Don't get me started on my love for Downton Abbey, Absolutely Fabulous and Blackadder. British Comedies are in my mind the best of the best - Fawlty Towers, The Thin Blue Line, My Family... it doesn't get better than that. This does not mean I dismiss the comedy of the Americans - I do so adore Parks and Recreation, Frasier, Will and Grace, Greek and an old favourite - Everybody Loves Raymond. I also absolutely adore Boston Legal. And Fringe - I LOVE Fringe - John Noble and Joshua Jackson make the show! So it is no wonder that they and Fringe are some of my favourite things! Of the more serious variety - Revenge, Mad Men and the Good Wife are among my favourites. Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, George Clooney, Steve Buscemi, Maggie Smith, Judie Dench, John Cleese, Joanna Lumley, Jennifer Saunders, John Cusack, Rob Lowe, Nicole Kidman - these are some of my favourite actors.

Some other favourites
  • getting postcards
  • gelatto
  • red velvet cake
  • pumpkin loaf
  • cherries
  • prawns
  • cats
  • penguins
  • orchids
  • Knysna
  • Freddie Mercury and Queen
These are a few of my favourite things, and now for some reviews of my current favourite books...

The Archived - Victoria Schwab

Title: The Archived

Author: Victoria Schwab

Publisher: Hyperion

Pages: 328

Source: pre-ordered from Amazon

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

The Synopsis

 IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE THE DEAD REST ON SHELVES LIKE BOOKS.

Each body has a story to tell, a life seen in pictures that only Librarians can read. The dead are called Histories, and the vast realm in which they rest is the Archive.
        Da first brought Mackenzie Bishop here four years ago, when she was twelve years old, frightened but determined to prove herself. Now Da is dead, and Mac has grown into what he once was: a ruthless Keeper, tasked with stopping often violent Histories from waking up and getting out. Because of her job, she lies to the people she loves, and she knows fear for what it is: a useful tool for staying alive.
        Being a Keeper isn't just dangerous - it's a constant reminder of those Mac has lost. Da's death was hard enough, but now that her little brother is gone too, Mac starts to wonder about the boundary between living and dying, sleeping and waking. In the Archivem the dead must never be disturbed. And yet, someone is deliberately altering Histories, erasing essential chapters. Unless Mac can piece together what remains, the Archive itself may crumble and all. In this haunting, richly imagined novel, Victoria Schwab reveals the thin lines between past and present, love and pain,  trust and deceit, unbearable loss and hard-won redemption.                                                    FROM THE BOOK JACKET.

The Review

I cannot put into words how difficult it is to write a review of The Archived, because it is just so amazing. The idea of the dead being shelved as Histories is a very *novel* idea. Wonderfully written, with the past interwoven so effortlessly with the present - this is a wonderful sophomore offering from the lovely Victoria Schwab. The way we learn about Mackenzie and her Da and how she came to be a keeper in little snippets of memory is very clever.

I love the way that we learn the secrets of the Archive with Mackenzie, as opposed to her knowing all. I absolutely adore Roland, and well, I really like Wes. I'll not elaborate for fear of spoilers. The Archived presents us with a lovely mystery that will leave you angst ridden and rooting for Mackenzie and the others to get to the bottom of the disruptions in the Archive.

The Archived is one of those books that you can get lost in. I cannot wait for the next installment, The Unbound.

More to look out for by Victoria Schwab

The Near Witch

 "The Near Witch is only an old story told to frighten children. "
"If the wind calls at night, you must not listen. The wind is lonely, and always looking for company. "
"And there are no strangers in the town of Near." 
These are the truths that Lexi has heard all her life. 
But when an actual stranger--a boy who seems to fade like smoke--appears outside her home on the moor at night, she knows that at least one of these sayings is no longer true. 
The next night, the children of Near start disappearing from their beds, and the mysterious boy falls under suspicion. Still, he insists on helping Lexi search for them. Something tells her she can trust him. 
As the hunt for the children intensifies, so does Lexi's need to know--about the witch that just might be more than a bedtime story, about the wind that seems to speak through the walls at night, and about the history of this nameless boy. 
Part fairy tale, part love story, Victoria Schwab's debut novel is entirely original yet achingly familiar: a song you heard long ago, a whisper carried by the wind, and a dream you won't soon forget.


Ash Born Boy

Before he came to Near... 
Before he met Lexi... 
Before they faced the witch... 
Who was the boy named Cole? 

Follow us to Dale, a city on a hill, where in a matter of days fire will devour everything. Meet the Lord and Lady, and their son, the boy destined to inherit all...until everything turns to ash. Last summer, Mackenzie Bishop, a Keeper tasked with stopping violent Histories from escaping the Archive, almost lost her life to one. Now, as she starts her junior year at Hyde School, she's struggling to get her life back. But moving on isn't easy -- not when her dreams are haunted by what happened. She knows the past is past, knows it cannot hurt her, but it feels so real, and when her nightmares begin to creep into her waking hours, she starts to wonder if she's really safe. 

Meanwhile, people are vanishing without a trace, and the only thing they seem to have in common is Mackenzie. She's sure the Archive knows more than they are letting on, but before she can prove it, she becomes the prime suspect. And unless Mac can track down the real culprit, she'll lose everything, not only her role as Keeper, but her memories, and even her life. Can Mackenzie untangle the mystery before she herself unravels?

With stunning prose and a captivating mixture of action, romance, and horror, The Unbound delves into a richly imagined world where no choice is easy and love and loss feel like two sides of the same coin.

It's time to learn the truth behind the stranger's story.

Vicious


 A masterful, twisted tale of ambition, jealousy, betrayal, and
superpowers, set in a near-future world.

Victor and Eli started out as college roommates—brilliant, arrogant, lonely boys who recognized the same sharpness and ambition in each other. In their senior year, a shared research interest in adrenaline, near-death experiences, and seemingly supernatural events reveals an intriguing possibility: that under the right conditions, someone could develop extraordinary abilities. But when their thesis moves from the academic to the experimental, things go horribly wrong.

Ten years later, Victor breaks out of prison, determined to catch up to his old friend (now foe), aided by a young girl whose reserved nature obscures a stunning ability. Meanwhile, Eli is on a mission to eradicate every other super-powered person that he can find—aside from his sidekick, an enigmatic woman with an unbreakable will. 

Armed with terrible power on both sides, driven by the memory of betrayal and loss, the archnemeses have set a course for revenge—but who will be left alive at the end?


The Unbound

Last summer, Mackenzie Bishop, a Keeper tasked with stopping violent Histories from escaping the Archive, almost lost her life to one. Now, as she starts her junior year at Hyde School, she's struggling to get her life back. But moving on isn't easy -- not when her dreams are haunted by what happened. She knows the past is past, knows it cannot hurt her, but it feels so real, and when her nightmares begin to creep into her waking hours, she starts to wonder if she's really safe. 

Meanwhile, people are vanishing without a trace, and the only thing they seem to have in common is Mackenzie. She's sure the Archive knows more than they are letting on, but before she can prove it, she becomes the prime suspect. And unless Mac can track down the real culprit, she'll lose everything, not only her role as Keeper, but her memories, and even her life. Can Mackenzie untangle the mystery before she herself unravels?

With stunning prose and a captivating mixture of action, romance, and horror, The Unbound delves into a richly imagined world where no choice is easy and love and loss feel like two sides of the same coin.

Echo - Alyson Noel

Title: Echo

Author: Alyson Noel

Pages: 396

Publisher: MacMillan

Source: Received from PanMacMillan South Africa

The Synopsis

Daire Santos has saved her grandmother's life - and her soul. But the cost has been great: the Richter family is now loose in the Lowerworld. Daire and her boyfriend Dace must find the Richters before the balance between good and evil is destroyed.

As their relationship deepens, Dace's evil brother Cade grows stronger, building his power and forcing Daire and Dace to confront the horrifying prophecy that has brought them all together. It will force Daire to claim her true destiny as Seeker - but first she must make an unthinkable sacrifice.

The Review

Alyson Noel has me on tenterhooks with her Soul Seekers Series. I adored Fated, and absolutely loved Echo. Daire's quest continues, and becomes more intense as we go along and see the absolute destruction caused by Cade and the Richters in the Lowerworld. The way he has corrupted the worlds is just terrible, and he revels in the destruction he is causing.

I love how Echo starts much like Fated with a run down of various Spirit Animals, and the way that Alyson elaborates on the culture of Daire's Abuela and how we learn about Daire's many abilities with her. The pace was a lot faster in Echo than in Fated, as we know a lot more and don't have to be caught up on all the different levels. I liked that Daire is more assertive, and is no longer challenging the role that she has to play. She still acts and works according to the beat of her heart instead of the logic that everyone else seems to insist she should follow to make her quest easier.

I flew through Echo, and I cannot wait for Mystic to be released in May!

Next from Alyson Noel

Mystic


Since arriving in Enchantment, New Mexico, everything in Daire Santos life has changed. And not all for the better. While she’s come to accept and embrace her new powers as a Soul Seeker, Daire struggles with the responsibility she holds navigating between the worlds of the living and the dead. And with the fate of her boyfriend Dace in the balance, Daire must put aside her personal feelings and focus on defeating Cade, whose evil plans threaten everyone she loves and the world as she knows it.

Available from May 2013

Thursday, February 28, 2013

*whoosh* that was the sound of February flying by

It is quite startling to think that today is the last day of the second month of 2013. How did we get here so quickly?

February was a rather interesting month, lots happened, and of course it started  off well with my 60 second Exclusive Books Summer Sale Dash. Things got interesting quickly in February when I discovered not only that there would be an O Tea Party in Port Elizabeth, but that I'd be relocating to Cape Town in March.

The O Tea Party was lovely, such a fantastic way to spend a Friday and thankfully the weather played along!

Sadly, things have not progressed nearly as well as far as my reading goes. I find myself in a slump. I am just too tired or stressed or panicky from all things work, life and relocation related to be able to just settle down with a book. It is awful. I feel so off kilter. I do hope that I'll get my reading groove back soon, as this is just another thing making me more stressed.

How has your February been? What are you reading at the moment? Any advice for getting out of a reading slump?

Thursday, February 14, 2013

the truth on valentines day

 I have been in love twice in my life. The first time when I was 13 and then again when I was 19. Neither of these times turned out especially well. The first time, because I didn't realise until it was too late. And the second, could be a bitter story, but let's just say he stopped loving me. And I suppose I had unrealistic expectations.

This isn't one of those angry single girls valentines day rants, it is just a realisation, a truth that I have come to realise, so I thought I'd share it on valentines day to make myself clear, and stop me from rolling my eyes at others celebrating the day.

Moulin Rouge, Must Love Dogs, Titanic, Atonement, The Notebook, Armageddon... these are among my favourite romantic movies. Love stories like those of Derek and Meredith on Grey's Anatomy, Rhett and Scarlet in Gone with the Wind, Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy, Mara and Noah, Etienne and Anna, Romeo and Juliet, Helen and Lucas, Dace and Daire... I could continue for a while. But I won't,  you know in case you all start thinking that I make lists of these things. I can tell you why it is among yours too. Movies like the mentioned, even books and series as mentioned are among your favourites especially because of the story behind the love that 2 of the people in these stories have.

I want this whole GWTW moment
Those stories, are the kind of story that you want to have one day. I know because it is the kind of story that I want to have one day. I want a Rhett Butler who will tell me that I should be kissed often. I want a Derek Shepherd who adores me, and would fall apart if anything happened to me like when Meredith nearly died from hypothermia. I want an Etienne St Claire, a Lucas Delos, a Mr Darcy, a Dace, a Christian, a Jake, a Jack - I want someone that will inspire within me what I feel when I read these books or watch these movies. There's that one moment in the movie, series or book, that just has you wanting that love so badly.

But here's the thing - most of these plot lines were written by women. Or they were written by someone who understands how to get you hooked by writing something that you want but can't have so will be coming back again and again to get what you can't have.

Relationships are better in books too
So that's the truth I want to share with you on valentines day. Love is real, real is love. Falling in love is wonderful, but our expectations will never be fulfilled because the boy/man you're in love with is not a script writer. Adjust your expectations and you'll be happy, because everything else that you see in movies and books is just fantasy. And I don't think you want the tragedy that comes with those story lines. Do you?

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Rape, the new genocide


In light of the recent rape and resulting death of a 17 year old girl in Bredasdorp, Western Cape, South Africa, I thought I would post this which I had written in 2009. I hope it helps to convey my anger at this never ending scourge that is affecting the world and womyn.

I honestly thought that after the brutal, almost fatal rape of Alison Botha in the 90s  that things would change in South Africa. But it seems that the wheels of change for important things are particularly slow. 

Rape, the new genocide

The United Nations defines genocide as:
"any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial group as such:
- killing members of the group;
- causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group;
- deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;
- imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group;
-... forcibly transferring children of the group to another group"

Womyn are a national group,  and womyn are more likely to undergo physical harm during forced intercourse they are also more often than not the victims of rape. In view of the fact that 1 in 4 South African men have or will at some stage in their lives rape one or many womyn, it is shocking that with the advent of HIV/AIDS and this widely known statistic that rape has not yet been classified as a form of genocide. Looking at the United Nations (widely accepted) definition for genocide, it should be amended that in the case of a womyn being raped by an HIV positive man that it is a case of genocide, as it ascribes to four of the five above mentioned factors that qualifies an act as genocide. First of all, when a womyn is raped by an HIV positive man, should she contract HIV (and considering we live in a country where only 1 in 9 womyn report being raped this is a high probability as when they do not report rape they cannot be treated with ARVs to prevent HIV) it is in effect what is referred to in the first point. That man is in effect killing a member of the female population. Being raped in most cases causes serious bodily harm, not to mention the mental harm that it inflicts on womyn. When being raped, the womyn is forced to have intercourse against her will which more often than not results in vaginal tearing and chronic pelvic pain to mention only two of the many awful physical effects. Of course other than that, she stands the chance of becoming pregnant with the child of the rapist, which is more than anyone should ever have to handle. Pregnancy is hard enough without the psychological trouble that can arise from having a child that resulted from such a trauma.



A womyn who has been raped is not only physically harmed, but undergoes psychological damage too, the mental effects of rape include, but are not limited to anger, aggression, self blame, lack of empathy and decreased capacity to seek help - hence the saddening statistic  that only 1 in 9 South African womyn report being raped. Not to mention the risk of suicide; suicide rates are high in womyn who have been raped, for instance in Ethiopia 6% of school girls who have been raped have attempted suicide. In fact, rape is often an indicator of suicide attempts later in life. Rape also results in a sense of shame; which has many awful side effects such as isolation, anger and aggression. Shame  linked to rape can also result in eating disorders, substance abuse and depression. Young womyn who have been raped are also prone to participating in unsafe sexual activity. Perhaps loss of self respect is the greatest injustice that arises from rape. Pregnancy after rape can be considered to ascribe to the fourth condition of genocide - not very many womyn are willing to keep a child conceived through rape. Thus this leads to a decrease in births (albeit births that might not have occurred at all) but also what  if a womyn was pregnant before she got raped? If the rape resulted in her becoming HIV Positive, she might well opt to abort the baby, not wanting the foetus to be exposed to a life so short that it might not be worth living. Therefore, rape has the ability to impose measures that are able to prevent births within the target group, i.e. womyn; since In the case of very young womyn and little girls being raped, the damage inflicted on the reproductive organs can be so great that it renders the female unable to have children in future.

Womyn are unbelievably strong members of the population considering the background from which we came, we have had to fight very hard to get equal treatment, rights and opportunities. Thus factor number three of genocide will take an immensely long time to overcome womyn. The South African judicial system lets womyn down in so many ways, not really seeing that justice delayed is justice denied. When you have to wait for years without relief, seeing the perpetrator walking free on the street you start to wonder whether the rapist has more rights than you. But then when you consider the case of our current president and his history that has been tainted with rape charges, you wonder whether rape will ever be taken seriously by the South African judiciary. But then considering the factors to which we have had to become subordinate to, such as not walking around late at night or not walking around at night, not wearing clothing that can be considered to be provocative - womyn who become victimised by rape are seen to be looking for it when they break those unwritten rules for preventing rape; because heaven knows men have
no self control! And womyn are always to blame, even they are not the ones who raped but rather are the ones who were raped. This limits womyn to acting in a manner that will not tempt a man to rape her, but what about the instances where a womyn was not acting in any manner that suggested any desired sexual activity or was in any way provocative. Is the womyn still to blame then or can the man finally be blamed for being unable to control himself?

What about when a grown man rapes a child? Did that innocent child really do something so provocative that she asked to be violated? Children are too innocent to think of such things. It is scary the way adults have the ability to hurt children. The psychological effects of sexual assault on children are many. No child deserves to go through such an awful ordeal and to allow a child rapist to roam free is a terrible injustice.

To deny that rape is a form of genocide, especially when it results in a womyn contracting HIV/AIDS or not being able to have children in the future because of being raped is as great a human right's violation as rape itself. Not even getting into the crime of womyn being raped and then killed. The law or rather I should say the judicial system of South Africa is too lax when it comes to prosecuting rapists, it seems almost as though the victim, or rather the rape survivor is the perpetrator rather than the perpetrator as the rape survivor is denied the justice that she deserves. The rapist is not put behind bars and is free to roam the streets and rape again, which is why I will again refer to the scary statistic of 1 in 4  South African men being rapists, one cannot blame womyn for not feeling safe. Justice delayed is justice denied, so let's force a mandate to be set so that rapists can get the prosecution they deserved, because a man raping once is one rape too many. 

ALUTA CONTINUA

SUICIDE STATISTIC and PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS OF RAPE courtesy of WIKIPEDIA


Monday, February 4, 2013

That's Life - The February Edition

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." Oscar Wilde

Autobiographies and Memoirs are my favourite book genre. It started when I first read Boy by Roald Dahl when I was 12 years old. The tales from his childhood were just so magical, they sounded like they were made up. I thought that life could not possibly be this fun in the 20th century, it certainly had not been in the 12 years of the 20th century that I lived. I had the same thought when I read it again when I was 13 in 2001. I was enchanted by how someone else's life could have so many crazy yet fun fragments in it when my life had none of those. My favourite chapter in his book has always been The Great Mouse Plot - where he tells the tale of a dead mouse that he and his friends found under a loose floor board in their classroom where they used to hide things. They decided to sneak it into a sweet jar at the sweet shop they used to frequent where the dreadful Mrs Pratchett was the owner. They thought they would get away with it, but unfortunately, instead of getting away with it they got an awful thrashing from their principal. Of course there is none of the brilliance in my retelling, but I dare you not to be tickled when reading his rendition.

I soon came to realise that life was different for everyone and that the more memorable parts of life may not be in your childhood but at a different stage of life. My more memorable parts definitely came in university. But that is not the point of this edition. Not entirely anyway. All of us have a time in our lives that stand out above all  others for various reasons, it could be good and it could be bad. For instance Pang-Mei Chang wrote Bound Feet and Western Dress to reflect on the changes that have come about in the space of 2 generations, looking at her modern life in comparison to that of her grand aunt who had a difficult time because she didn't have her feet bound. Frank McCourt wrote Angela's Ashes to tell of his sometimes horrific childhood and the way that being poor in Ireland in the 1930s and 1940s impacted the opportunities that were available to him - even within the Catholic church.

There are very rarely happy memoirs - and it makes sense, because there is not much to learn in being happy and getting what you want all the time. Even the always smiling Goldie Hawn has some sadness in her book 'a lotus grows in the mud' and truth be told, it is the fact that we all experience these sad times that others are further endeared to us when they reveal that their lives are not all moonshine and roses.

Some memoirs share the crazy adventures that people have had - coming from being poor to being rock stars like I am Ozzy by Ozzy Osbourne and Life by Keith Richards. Some memoirs share just specific highlights from a section of the author's life like Truth be Told by Larry King. I have read many wonderful autobiographies and memoirs,  and before I get to those that I'll be reviewing for this month's edition, I am going to share a few that are my favourites and some that I think you should give a chance:

Some of my favourites...
Bono on Bono - Bono and Mischka Assayas
Life - Keith Richards
I am Ozzy - Ozzy Osbourne
Extreme - Sharon Osbourne
Boy - Roald Dahl
Geisha of Gion - Mineko Iwesaki

Most profound...
Anne Frank Remembered - Miep Gies
Night - Elie Wiesel
Unbearable Lightness - Portia de Rossi
Angela's Ashes  - Frank McCourt

Most comforting...
Tolstoy and the Purple Chair - Nina Sankovitch

Most enlightening...
Freddie Mercury his life in his own words
a lotus grows in the mud - Goldie Hawn

On my future TBR list...

Me - Ricky Martin 
True Compass - Ted Kennedy
Straight from the Heart - Lara Bush
Wat's Nuus - Riaan Cruywagen
Ronnie - Ronnie Wood
According to the Rolling Stones
Happy Accidents - Jane Lynch
The Art of Good Living - Edith Venter
Transformation - Chaz Bono
Does the noise in my head bother you? - Steven Tyler

My future acquisition list aka those on my radar: (you know in case anyone wants to buy for me *wink, wink nudge, nudge*)

Funny Peculiar - Will Young
Lessons in Becoming Myself - Ellen Burstyn
Vyftig, Vurig + Fabulous - Brumilda van Rensberg
Then Again - Diane Keaton
Lessons from my Father - Barack Obama
From this Moment On - Shania Twain
Bossypants - Tina Fey
All that is Bitter and Sweet - Ashley Judd
If you ask me: (and of course you won't) - Betty White
I'm over all that - Shirley MacLaine
My First Five Husbands... and the ones who got away - Rue McClanahan

And now for some reviews...

Truth be Told - Larry King

For years I have admired Larry King and his ability to cut to the quick in an interview - getting to the heart of the matter with a professional grace that no one else possesses. When I heard about his book Truth be Told - I just had to have this book. True,  I did wait to get the paper back issue as opposed to the hard cover, but I am just happy to own the book.

There has been a fair amount of criticisms of this book, people believing that it the book does not deliver. I absolutely disagree with these criticisms. It was like looking through a photo album with the one and only King of Talk, except instead of stories he retells some of his best stories. Larry King who came from humble beginnings and made it in the big time. He recalls his start in radio and his breakfasts, and all the people he has spoken to. His recollection of some of his greatest interviews, his friendships with Al Pacino and Frank Sinatra - the changes he has noticed in people and politics over the years. Larry King's keen observations have opened my eyes to so many things, and I wish there were more people with his skill, so that there can be more opportunities for the questions that matter to be asked and answered.

Stories I Only Tell My Friends - Rob Lowe

Rob Lowe first came onto my radar in the mid 2000's, when I saw him on Brothers and Sisters, and then again when I started watching Parks and Recreation. I was quite thrilled when he was on Oprah and mentioned his book Stories I Only Tell My Friends. I finally got a copy in 2012, and whilst it took me a few months before I actually started reading it, once I started, I was so enthralled by Rob's amazing voice and truly captivating story of his life that I finished it in 3 sittings.

Stories I Only Tell My Friends is a phenomenal book spanning much of Rob Lowe's life, and the moments preceding and leading up to his big break as an actor. From the day he decided he wanted to become an actor and the steps he took getting there. The big moments in life he experienced, the big people he met, and the rising stars that he grew up with. The fact that Rob Lowe has managed to changed his public persona from pretty party boy to devoted father and husband and talented actor with staying power shows how truly remarkable Rob Low is. The insight he shares on his changing childhood family, to his chosen family of friends including the Sheens as well as the moments he got to share with stars before he was one is written so succinctly, that if acting did not work out for him, Rob could easily have been a writer.

I have to say that I admire Rob so much more now, looking at how his introspection helped him to get further in life, as opposed to becoming a victim of his circumstances, particularly the ever changing father figure in his childhood, the divorce of his parents, and the afflictions that plagued his mother.  And I am not just saying this because his birthday is a day after mine... Rob has certainly become wiser with everything that has happened in his life, and this book absolutely shows for it.

Reading Stories I only Tell my Friends helped me to comprehend something that had been on the periphery of my thoughts but just needed some more stimulus to become something comprehensive, and I think it is something that everyone should realise. There is the story as it is experienced by the person living the story, or the person who should be the narrator. And then there is the story as perceived by everyone on the outside. And the ones who perceive the story from the outside and turn it into sensation are the paparazzi and the gossip blogs and magazines. The sensation of course having the sole purpose of making more money for those who see the events unfolding from the outside and then distort them to create sensationalism that will boost sales. It does make me worry though, what does it say about the human race and how far we have fallen that so many consume this sensationalism as though it is the air that they need to live? Reading a book like this where Rob Lowe's life was under media scrutiny for so long with things blown out of proportion and then seeing his perspective and how he minimises it, not making it the same fodder that gossip rags do, certainly paints a whole new picture. I think we should all wait for the autobiographies or memoirs to come out before we start judging.

Coming later this month...

Absolutely - Joanna Lumley


 I adore Joanna Lumley, she is just the perfect person to have been chosen to play Patsy Stone. I cannot ever imagine her as anyone else. Later this month I'll be sharing my thoughts on Joanna and her book Absolutely.


Rod: The Autobiography - Rod Stewart

When I think back, to who Rod Stewart was to me, I see a man in a shiny outfit with a coif that I have always thought was pretty cool. When I think of Rod Stewart now, I still think of his hair, but now I know that he is a lot more than his gorgeous hair and gravelly voice. Want to know what else I think, look out for my review later this month.

Moranthology - Caitlin Moran

From the woman who penned the iconic book 'How to be a Woman' I started reading her recollection of meeting Keith Richards, thoroughly entertained, I shall attempt to regale you in a similar fashion later this month with my thoughts on Moranthology.


What's your favourite autobiography or memoir? Or do these non-fiction books just not do it for you? I'd love to know what you think, and of course get some more recommendations!